Jokes / Funny quotes about dogs

Did you hear about the dyslexic agnostic insomniac who stays up all night wondering if there really is a Dog?
-- Unknown
Man is a dog's idea of what God should be.
-- Holbrook Jackson
It's a dog eat dog world, and I'm wearing milk-bone underwear -- Norm, on Cheers
Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside of a dog, it's much too dark to read.
-- Groucho Marx
If your dog is fat, you aren't getting enough exercise.
-- Unknown
Some days you're the dog; some days you're the hydrant. -- Unknown
Whoever said you can't buy happiness forgot about puppies.
-- Gene Hill
In dog years, I'm dead. -- Unknown
To his dog, every man is Napoleon; hence the constant popularity of dogs. -- Aldous Huxley
A dog teaches a boy fidelity, perseverance, and to turn around three times before lying down. 
-- Robert Benchley
Did you ever walk into a room and forget why you walked in? I think that's how dogs spend their lives.
-- Sue Murphy
I loathe people who keep dogs. They are cowards who haven't got the guts to bite people themselves.
-- August Strindberg
No animal should ever jump up on the dining room furniture unless absolutely certain that he can hold his own in the conversation. 
-- Fran Lebowitz
Ever consider what they must think of us? I mean, here we come back from a grocery store with the most amazing haul -- chicken, pork, half a cow. They must think we're the greatest hunters on earth! -- Anne Tyler
I wonder if other dogs think poodles are members of a weird religious cult. 
-- Rita Rudner

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