While walking his beat, a policeman is bemused to find a young man, clearly drunk, staggering about with a key in his hand.
‘They’ve stolen my car,’ the drunk shouts. ‘It was right here earlier on the end of this key.’
‘More importantly, sir,’ says the policeman. ‘Do you know your p*nis is hanging out?’
‘Oh my God,’ wails the drunk. ‘They’ve got my girlfriend as well.’