Jokes / Another Men and Women differences

Women's English
 Yes = No
 No = Yes
 Maybe = No
 I'm sorry = You'll be sorry
 We need = I want
 It's your decision = The correct decision should be obvious by
 Do what you want = You'll pay for this later
 We need to talk = I need to complain
 Sure ... go ahead = I don't want you to
 I'm not upset = Of course I'm upset, you moron!
 You're ... so manly = You need a shave and you sweat a lot
 You're certainly attentive tonight = Is sex all you ever think
 Be romantic, turn out the lights = I have flabby thighs
 This kitchen is so inconvenient = I want a new house
 I want new curtains = ... and carpeting, and furniture,
                       and wallpaper
 Hang the picture there = NO, I mean hang it there!
 I heard a noise = I noticed you were almost asleep
 Do you love me = I'm going to ask for something expensive
 How much do you love me? = I did something today you're really not
                            going to like
 I'll be ready in a minute = Kick off your shoes and find a good
                             game on TV
 Is my butt fat? = Tell me I'm beautiful
 You have to learn to communicate = Just agree with me
 I'm not yelling = Yes I am yelling because I think this is
 Men's English
 I'm hungry = I'm hungry
 I'm sleepy = I'm sleepy
 I'm tired = I'm tired
 Do you want to go to a movie = I'd eventually like to have sex
                                with you
 Can I take you out to dinner = I'd eventually like to have sex
                                with you
 Can I call you sometime = I'd eventually like to have sex with you
 May I have this dance? = I'd eventually like to have sex with you
 Nice dress! = Nice tits!
 You look tense, let me give you a massage = I want to fondle you
 What's wrong? = I guess sex tonight is out of the question
 I'm bored = Do you want to have sex?
 I love you = Let's have sex now
 I love you, too = Okay, I said it ... We'd better have sex now!
 Yes, I like the way you cut your hair = Okay, I said it ... We'd
                                         better have sex now!
 Let's talk = I am trying to impress you by showing that I am a
              deep person and maybe then you'd like to have sex
              with me
 Will you marry me? = I want to make it illegal for you to have sex
                      with other guys
 (While shopping): I like that one better = Pick any bloody dress
                                            and let's go home and
                                            have sex!"

0 Response to "Jokes / Another Men and Women differences"

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...
powered by Blogger | WordPress by Newwpthemes | Converted by BloggerTheme