· When Chuck Norris calls 1-900 numbers, he doesnt get charged. He holds up the phone and money falls out.
· Chuck Norris once ate a whole cake before his friends could tell him there was a stripper in it.
· Some people like to eat frogs' legs. Chuck Norris likes to eat lizard legs. Hence, snakes.
· There are no races, only countries of people Chuck Norris has beaten to different shades of black and blue.
· When Chuck Norris was denied an Egg McMuffin at McDonald's because it was 10:35, he roundhouse kicked the store so hard it became a Wendy's.
· Chuck Norris can't finish a "color by numbers" because his markers are filled with the blood of his victims. Unfortunately, all blood is dark red.
· A Chuck Norris-delivered Roundhouse Kick is the preferred method of execution in 16 states.
· Chuck Norris once ate an entire bottle of sleeping pills. They made him blink.
· When Chuck Norris is in a crowded area, he doesn't walk around people. He walks through them.
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